Category Archives: Whining

Fashion Shopping Whining

Skinny Jeans

I have discovered one thing more humiliating than trying one swimwear. And that would be shopping for a pair of skinny jeans. Not only painful, but physically exhausting as I breathed irregularly and wrestled myself into these vacuum-sealed contraptions. You can see at right what they’re supposed to look like. Cute with pumps and boots, right? Totally not cute on me. Today I tried on some Paige Petites (which I was sure would fit me but didn’t), some J Brands, and a number of others I can’t recall, all of which resulted in an unsightly bunched-at-the-knees and horizontal lines on the back-of-the-thigh-look. It did not look like the picture to the right nor like the woman who was helping at the school morning drop-off who had the perfect skinnies with gorgeous boots, who inspired me to start this painful quest. I can’t quite figure out the problem — is my butt too small or too big? Do I need to have bigger hips? Thanks to my friend Nina, I have been on a handbag-leggings-skinny jeans rampage. The bags always work; the leggings look fine, but the skinnies — can’t seem to get them to work. Are they really that different from leggings anyway — and will my life be incomplete without them?

I was with my 4-year-old daughter, who accompanied me to the Komen Race for the Cure this morning (and we Sat in the Park and Ate Cookies for the Cure because we had to park so far away that she was spent by the time we got to our team tent), and she was able to pick out 6 outfits, all of which looked good on her, even with the Princess Leia double-buns she had requested as a hairstyle this morning. She even did a 3/4 pivot while checking herself out in the mirror for full effect. So maybe I should give up on the skinnies and just focus my energies on clothing my kids.


The Not-In-Bschool Blues

So my friend Liz is in her first year of business school, and I am soooo jealous. I keep saying things to my husband like, “I don’t think I really made the most of my b-school experience” and “I wish I had really cherished every moment” and he keeps looking at me like “What is wrong with you?” (knowing full well the total hours I logged at the pool, lying in bed, and otherwise being a drain on the environment). Liz says that at least I’m not poor…but since my husband’s been laid off I am on a Botkier moratorium so I am poor and not in business school!
Anyway, she is going to the same b-school that I went to, except that things over there are way better now. For one, they have more than three women’s stalls in the classroom area (most of my class breaks were spent standing in line hoping to get into the bathroom before class started again). For another, they have now figured out how to properly leverage the “information superhighway” (aka the “internet”). And most importantly, there is a decent salon in town. I know this because one of my b-school classmates, who witnessed my painful assortment of haircuts referred to as “The E.T.” and “The Mushroom”, opened it. Liz went there and got a normal-looking cut and color. I also once got my brows done in town and that result was best described as “Peking Opera.” Having a good salon in town and more than three stalls would have made my b-school experience perfect. My toughest decision of the day was usually when my friend Becky (who also lived next door to me) called and said, “What kind of iced tea should we have at the pool today?” It would turn into a “I don’t know, you decide” / “No, you!” / “No, you!” type thing and would conclude with us poolside. The fact this 2-year vacation is a 20-something’s ticket to a six-figure salary is just incredible.

Parenting Whining

Mew, mew, mew

I am totally over-extended at work. I am having conversations at home with my 2-year-old along the lines of: “I am going to be on a conference call. Do not scream during the conference call. If you scream and disrupt my conference call, I will lose my job and we will not be able to live in this house and have to live in a canyon.” [read with a teeth-clenched-together type of tone]. Following this type of conversation, 2-year-old screams while I run around the house to get away from her so I can pretend like I have everything under control. I sometimes wipe my kids’ butts while on calls, sprinting away as the toilet flushes.

So it’s 1 AM on a Friday night, and I just wrapped up my work for the night. In the past few weeks something has happened wherein I have completely lost the boundary between home life and work life. I’m still trying to figure out what happened, but most likely my need for approval and praise resulted in me agreeing to several assignments which are technically not possible to complete within the bounds of my normal work day. That, and we’re coming up on one of our peak periods in our business cycle. That, and a few days ago I had one of those days where everything exploded (Venture partner freaks out at legal liability and drops our very profitable deal! In-house counsel stands me up several times for meetings on time-sensitive matters! Other parts of organization made decisions without informing me that significantly affect my ability to meet targets! I spill my entire lunch on the break room floor!), so I am really not feeling like I’ve got very much under control at all.

Don’t even get me started on this new, humongous, spontaneous mole that appeared on me. I am about to develop mountainous hills of cystic acne all over my face. Happy Thanksgiving!