The other day, I was drying my hair and my daughter came into the room. She looked at the tall red bottle of  Big Sexy Hair Root Pump on the counter, then at my hair, then back at the bottle, and had the startling realization that using a product called Big Sexy Hair does not, in fact, guarantee you Big Sexy Hair. If only I had been equally immune to its marketing.

But it’s way too hot to try to style my hair today. And if I’m not going to do my hair, then I’m not going to turn on the stove either. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the Ten Commandments.

I’m worried that kale’s going to get as overexposed as bacon someday soon, but it does have nutrition going for it. My local farm’s still giving me lots of it, so I’m stealth-stuffing it into everything nowadays.

I recently bought a part of a grass-fed, grass-finished animal from Glacier Grown and have lots of ground beef and bison. Today, I’m using beef.

These burgers are easy, yummy, and full of antioxidants! First, enlist a child for unpaid work separating the kale leaves from the stems. Ensure your kitchen is cluttered to project a prolific culinary image.

 Next, chop up the kale into little bits. Make them smaller if you want to hide the kale.

Mince about 1/4 cup of red onion. Mix it together with 1 lb ground beef and the kale. Add in 1/4 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper and 1 tsp soy sauce.

Form into patties, and press your thumb in the middle of each patty. This ensures a nice flat burger once it’s cooked, so that you can pile more stuff on top.

Put ’em on a hot grill.

Then flip ’em.

About a minute before you’re done, put a slice of gruyere cheese on each burger and allow to melt on a bit.

Top with tomato, avocado and lettuce, and eat!

KALE GRUYERE BEEF BURGERS

Ingredients

• 1 lb ground beef
• 1/4 cup minced red onion
• 2 large leaves of kale, minced
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1 tsp soy sauce
• 1 avocado, sliced
• 1 tomato, sliced
• 4 slices of gruyere cheese
• 4 leaves of lettuce
• ketchup
• hamburger buns

Preparation

Heat a grill.

Combine the beef, red onion, kale, salt, pepper and soy sauce in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Shape into four disks. Press your thumb in the middle of each disk to make a slight indentation.

Toast buns for 30 seconds on hot grill.

Put burgers on grill for 2.5 minutes. Turn burgers over, place a slice of gruyere on top and grill for another 2.5 minutes, or until meat reaches 160 degrees.

Place burgers onto bun and top with ketchup, tomato, lettuce and avocado slices.

Serves 4.